UPDATE ON JSV MEDICAL CONDITION

 

Entire penis, both testes affected by NVHM; surgery considered.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Under the cover of darkness victims lay helplessly asleep, unaware that their lives will be forever altered mere seconds after they wake. There will be no warning signs and they will feel no physical pain, but emotional suffering will remain with them for the rest of their lives. Outwardly, the rest of society will detect no difference. On the inside, however, victims are left with a hole which can never be filled.

 

Scientists have generally accepted that human evolution - our ability to survive by undergoing physical adaptations in response to conditions which threaten the species - is a process requiring hundreds of thousands of years to yield results. That general acceptance is now being re-assessed as Mother Nature currently seems to be concocting some kind of overnight genetic quick-fix medicine which could fundamentally alter forever humanity itself, and undoubtedly leave a rather nasty taste in the mouths of many for millennia.

 

Unexplained Changes Occurring World-Wide

 

Millions of men across the globe are going to sleep at night only to rise in the morning not feeling their whole selves. In one of the most bizarre and scientifically inexplicable events since the Big Bang itself, human penises seem to be randomly undergoing an extremely rapid biological transformation the international scientific community has labelled "nocturnal vaginalhypermetamorphosis" , or NVHM for short. Simply put, men's penises are literally changing into vaginas overnight.

 

Researchers are baffled as to the cause, but agree that a possible relationship to global warming cannot be entirely discounted. Not yet an epidemic, there is mounting evidence showing 'the morph' or 'mangina'  to be gaining genetic momentum and requiring immediate attention from pharmeceutical laboratories on all continents.

 

Earlier today, over-rated webcam exhibitionist and general penis aficionado JSVnaked had to come to terms with the realization that his own genitalia had been lost overnight to the presently-incurable malady. Reminiscing that he had become quite attached to his penis over the years, JSV admitted to harboring a growing suspicion that the condition could complicate cock-flashing activities both professionally and socially.

 

"It's something that will not be licked this week or this year, but once scientists probe around a bit, they'll be able to get to the bottom if they're willing to get their hands a little dirty." At press time, it was still entirely unclear whether the JSV comments related in any way to medical research.

 

Anyone with a penis - especially men - should be aware of this condition and properly prepare themselves by keeping these three safety factors in mind:


1.  ALWAYS REMAIN CALM IF YOUR PENIS DISAPPEARS;
2.  ACCEPT THAT SOME THINGS CANNOT BE CHANGED; and
3.  NEVER BELIEVE ANYTHING ON APRIL FOOLS' DAY!

 

 


Posted Sunday, April 1st, 2018 at 00:01 UTC